When you're no longer the "cream of the crop"

Since it's winter break and I'm home I have a lot of time to do this certain activity that can be rather treacherous in some cases: thinking. You might say "Tyler, that's crazy. How could thinking be bad?". Well, to other people thinking might not be a terrible activity to partake in. Heck, some need to do a little bit more of it if you ask me. BUT, for me, thinking is always too elaborate and too in depth. Lately I've been thinking about my first semester of college and pondering upon that. I've said it before, but in high school I rarely worried about my grades simply because I was pretty smart and always made As in my classes. I don't know if I carried that mindset into college or what, but it's definitely not the same.

I've always had this thing about images. Not pictures but personal images, like how I present myself and how others see me. In high school, I presented myself as the "everything is going right for him" persona. I got good grades, have the nice house, nice car (still shooting for my Range Rover), amazing and supportive parents, nice clothes, etcetera. I probably sound like a snob, don't I? But that couldn't be farther from the truth. As my first semester of college has come to an end, one of those components of my 'perfect image' has kind of taken a wrong turn. My grades. Don't get me wrong, I'm still passing, but by my standards I feel like a complete failure. My parents are still encouraging and supportive, but I feel as if I've let them down-like my happy-go-lucky personality has taken a toll. I never get worked up about things, but this is kinda bugging me.